Thoughts on Evangelism: How do you Deal with Father Issues?

Thoughts on Evangelism: How do you Deal with Father Issues?
Last Sunday we heard a marvelous testimony of how a family had been hurt by a father’s actions (and inactions) and broken by divorce. Family members for years were among the walking wounded. Then, in a moment of clarity, the Lord touched the wayward father, and years of pain were healed. It is a great illustration of God working through prayer to change lives.
But what happens when that moment of clarity does not come? When fathers and children do not find resolution or when death separates family members before such clarity can come. Or what happens to children who never meet their fathers?
Hebrews 12 talks about fathers:
5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
How does this read to a son or daughter whose father has been absent or abusive or self-absorbed? How do you witness about God the Father to someone who has never met his father?
Maybe a place to start is Matthew 27: 46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Jesus himself knows what it means to be a “man of sorrows and acquainted with grief”. Though he knew his death was necessary, he felt abandoned by God the Father. So Jesus deeply understands what it means to have a bad father or no father at all. As you witness to those with father issues, this may be a place to start. One huge difference is that God the Father was not “disciplining” Jesus his son: Jesus’ death is necessary to heal OUR relationship with God, not to heal Jesus’ relationship with his Father God.
To help a new believer understand this relationship between a father’s discipline and our adoption as sons and daughters I think there are two things you can do.
First, you can help the new believer (or someone asking questions) think about someone in their life who asserted authority in a caring way: a teacher or pastor or uncle or brother. If they can see that the person disciplined them for their own good, you have got a good example. Certainly you can emphasize that, as a human, that person in their life probably has made plenty of mistakes of their own. But we can learn even from mediocre examples. Try to draw parallels between that important person in their life and how God the Father has led and disciplined you in your life.
Second, and more important, you can become a leader in that person’s life as you disciple them in the faith. God grants us the authority to preach his word and do his will on earth. That authority is based on our relationship with Jesus Christ and is enabled by our knowledge of Jesus. That puts a responsibility on us to be in prayer and in God’s Word regularly so that we can align our will with our Father’s will. We will not be perfect. But we are responsible to do the Father’s work and that will include teaching and helping others understand their relationship with God. You may be called to be that caring, loving one who disciplines that we talked about in the last paragraph. Just because it is a heavy responsibility does not mean you are not called by God to assume it.
Pray about it. Maybe you have father issues. That might make you uniquely qualified to help a new believer with their own issues. Maybe God is calling you to have a discipling relationship that is modeled after the kind of loving Father described in Hebrews 12. If you are called to help or lead someone into a deeper walk with Jesus, remember to talk to those who are your spiritual leaders for help and advice and go to them for prayer. Taking on this kind of relationship may be scary, but it brings a deep joy to you and to your Father.