Thoughts on Evangelism: How do you Deal with Father Issues?
Last Sunday we heard a marvelous testimony of how a family had been hurt by a father’s actions (and inactions) and broken by divorce. Family members for years were among the walking wounded. Then, in a moment of clarity, the Lord touched the wayward father, and years of pain were healed. It is a great illustration of God working through prayer to change lives.
But what happens when that moment of clarity does not come? When fathers and children do not find resolution or when death separates family members before such clarity can come. Or what happens to children who never meet their fathers?
Hebrews 12 talks about fathers:
5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
How does this read to a son or daughter whose father has been absent or abusive or self-absorbed? How do you witness about God the Father to someone who has never met his father?
Maybe a place to start is Matthew 27: 46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Jesus himself knows what it means to be a “man of sorrows and acquainted with grief”. Though he knew his death was necessary, he felt abandoned by God the Father. So Jesus deeply understands what it means to have a bad father or no father at all. As you witness to those with father issues, this may be a place to start. One huge difference is that God the Father was not “disciplining” Jesus his son: Jesus’ death is necessary to heal OUR relationship with God, not to heal Jesus’ relationship with his Father God.
To help a new believer understand this relationship between a father’s discipline and our adoption as sons and daughters I think there are two things you can do.
First, you can help the new believer (or someone asking questions) think about someone in their life who asserted authority in a caring way: a teacher or pastor or uncle or brother. If they can see that the person disciplined them for their own good, you have got a good example. Certainly you can emphasize that, as a human, that person in their life probably has made plenty of mistakes of their own. But we can learn even from mediocre examples. Try to draw parallels between that important person in their life and how God the Father has led and disciplined you in your life.
Second, and more important, you can become a leader in that person’s life as you disciple them in the faith. God grants us the authority to preach his word and do his will on earth. That authority is based on our relationship with Jesus Christ and is enabled by our knowledge of Jesus. That puts a responsibility on us to be in prayer and in God’s Word regularly so that we can align our will with our Father’s will. We will not be perfect. But we are responsible to do the Father’s work and that will include teaching and helping others understand their relationship with God. You may be called to be that caring, loving one who disciplines that we talked about in the last paragraph. Just because it is a heavy responsibility does not mean you are not called by God to assume it.
Pray about it. Maybe you have father issues. That might make you uniquely qualified to help a new believer with their own issues. Maybe God is calling you to have a discipling relationship that is modeled after the kind of loving Father described in Hebrews 12. If you are called to help or lead someone into a deeper walk with Jesus, remember to talk to those who are your spiritual leaders for help and advice and go to them for prayer. Taking on this kind of relationship may be scary, but it brings a deep joy to you and to your Father.
Monday, December 30, 2013
I guess I really do have a chronic illness...
Google "psoriatic arthritis" and read all about it. The description of symptoms matches me perfectly! There are 5 varieties and I seem to have symptoms of about three kinds. Right now I am experiencing a pretty bad flare up in the lower back: dance lessons canceled, cane retrieved from it holder.
Thinking back, I've had symptoms for years and for years have denied that there was any problem. Do you really mean it's not normal to be in pain all the time?? I thought it was a natural consequence of the various sports abuses I've put myself through over the years.
The “Last Week’s Sermon” Game or Are You Ready to Talk About Jesus?
The “Last Week’s Sermon” Game or Are You Ready to Talk About Jesus?
I’d like to invite you to play a game I made up. We are all familiar with the scripture: "...preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching." But, are you really ready?
Here’s my game: Imagine that someone asks you to tell them about Jesus and what he means to you and why he is important, and your response has to come from Last Week’s Sermon.
To play the game, you pretend to have a conversation where someone asks you a leading question about your faith or about Jesus and you respond by using last week’s message along with your own personal references and knowledge to tell the person about Jesus Christ.
It’s a game, but the rules are loose. You are certainly allowed to use other scripture references and certainly you should use some of your own personal stories and knowledge, but the main part of your response should come from the content of the week’s message.
Here’s a sample. “It’s Christmas and everyone is talking about Christ and I know that you go to church. What do you say about the meaning of Christmas and Jesus and religion and all that stuff?”
Like Nehemiah (Neh 2:4), shoot a quick prayer of thanks toward heaven and say: “I’m glad you asked. Just last week at church we heard a story about Jesus that came from a book in the Old Testament by a prophet that lived 800 years before Jesus even came to earth! BTW, a prophet is a messenger that brings God’s message to people, and this prophet, Isaiah, predicted that Jesus would be born and he would bring light and be a light for his people who were in the middle of a terribly dark period of their history. Isaiah was writing to a people that were have super hard times and they were cursing the government and life in general. Isaiah told them that a light would come in the form of a child and that light would be the Wonderful Counselor, the Might God, The Everlasting Father, and the Prince of Peace.
“And if you think about each name, you’ll get why the coming of Jesus means so much to me and to everyone: Jesus is God come to earth. He lived with us and walked with us for a season and then returned to God the Father to plead our case before his throne. We can call God our Everlasting Father because of restored relationship.
“My own connection with my real father has been tenuous at best. I met him only a couple of times in my whole life, and although he said that he prayed for me, it’s been hard to relate to him as a father and now he’s passed away. So thinking of God as my Everlasting Father is really meaningful for me.”
You get the idea. Use Last Weeks Sermon as a reference and as a springboard to talk about your relationship with Jesus. Use the game to mentally practice what you might say so you’ll be ready when God sends you someone with a question.
I’d like to invite you to play a game I made up. We are all familiar with the scripture: "...preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching." But, are you really ready?
Here’s my game: Imagine that someone asks you to tell them about Jesus and what he means to you and why he is important, and your response has to come from Last Week’s Sermon.
To play the game, you pretend to have a conversation where someone asks you a leading question about your faith or about Jesus and you respond by using last week’s message along with your own personal references and knowledge to tell the person about Jesus Christ.
It’s a game, but the rules are loose. You are certainly allowed to use other scripture references and certainly you should use some of your own personal stories and knowledge, but the main part of your response should come from the content of the week’s message.
Here’s a sample. “It’s Christmas and everyone is talking about Christ and I know that you go to church. What do you say about the meaning of Christmas and Jesus and religion and all that stuff?”
Like Nehemiah (Neh 2:4), shoot a quick prayer of thanks toward heaven and say: “I’m glad you asked. Just last week at church we heard a story about Jesus that came from a book in the Old Testament by a prophet that lived 800 years before Jesus even came to earth! BTW, a prophet is a messenger that brings God’s message to people, and this prophet, Isaiah, predicted that Jesus would be born and he would bring light and be a light for his people who were in the middle of a terribly dark period of their history. Isaiah was writing to a people that were have super hard times and they were cursing the government and life in general. Isaiah told them that a light would come in the form of a child and that light would be the Wonderful Counselor, the Might God, The Everlasting Father, and the Prince of Peace.
“And if you think about each name, you’ll get why the coming of Jesus means so much to me and to everyone: Jesus is God come to earth. He lived with us and walked with us for a season and then returned to God the Father to plead our case before his throne. We can call God our Everlasting Father because of restored relationship.
“My own connection with my real father has been tenuous at best. I met him only a couple of times in my whole life, and although he said that he prayed for me, it’s been hard to relate to him as a father and now he’s passed away. So thinking of God as my Everlasting Father is really meaningful for me.”
You get the idea. Use Last Weeks Sermon as a reference and as a springboard to talk about your relationship with Jesus. Use the game to mentally practice what you might say so you’ll be ready when God sends you someone with a question.
Best Year Ever (Year End Letter)
Best Year Ever! (Again!) I thought last year was the best ever, but this year was better.
This is the year that Spotlight (formerly Christian Youth Theater) came into our lives. First, Bonnie was invited to teach voice for the Lake County group. Then last summer, Bonnie costumed the Spotlight Adult show: Thoroughly Modern Millie. The talent (of Bonnie and the actors and the other people responsible for the production, including Elle who was the vocal director) was truly awesome. Michael got to see the show Every Night and loved it more each time he saw it! Bonnie got to make lots of new friends and work with some very talented people. Subsequently, Bonnie taught a voice class at the North Cook Spotlight group and is assisting in a Lake County class for the fall/winter session. Spotlight is a great organization dedicated to highlighting Jesus Christ through the performing arts. To complete the Spotlight part of the letter, Elle (Erin Laurel) is now a full time Spotlight employee working in several areas of the company, but mainly in marketing. This spring Elle will be directing a show for the Kenosha group and she has already invited Bonnie to work on the costuming.
You may have gathered that Elle must have left the Fred Astaire system, and you are correct! This is a huge change for her to leave the world of Ballroom and be totally involved with a Christian organization!
Another big, big change: Bonnie and Michael have closed the door on the Ballroom Dance Gown business!! The business was bought by our friend Michael, owner and manager of the Burr Ridge Fred Astaire. Michael always made us feel welcome in his studio, even before it was his studio and he made the dresses an important part of introducing his students into the world of Ballroom Competition. Once the Lord led Bonnie away from ballroom, it was a marvelously short time from that realization to the dresses leaving our house for Burr Ridge.
So, you might think that Bonnie might take a little time off to recover from years of intense work: you would be wrong. In addition to large, labor intensive contracts with the Mundelein HS Show Choir, Bonnie has started a new Etsy business: Bonnie’s Belle Babies, making infant and child clothing and accessories!
Giles, our SIL, has done a lot of graphic work for us. He made the banner above, but Michael inexpertly inserted our granddaughter’s picture over Gile’s graphic. Briana and Giles are working hard to realize their dream of a successful startup company. Cool Perks (mycoolperks.com) is a kind of electronic couponing company that uses smartphones and computers to actually pay people who distribute coupons to their friends. This kind of startup takes a tremendous amount of work and delightful and intelligent people (Briana and Giles) to explain and sell the concept to businesses.
Did I mention how Delightful it is to have Giles, Briana, and Giselle living with us? Getting daily exposure to this family and watching Giselle grow up is awesome!
We don’t get to see them every day, but Joel, Jen, and Sloane are just 30 minutes away. Sloane is awesome and Jen keeps us up-to-date with her amazing pictures. Joel works his computer magic mainly from home, so they are the Nuclear Family. We’ve had some great times with them this year.
Bonnie went to Haiti for the third time this year, then had surgery to repair her left thumb. She liked it so much, she’s going to do both again this coming year, but this time the right thumb. Michael had an ankle fusion and (finally) returned to daily bike riding and he hasn’t been physically so well off for a number of years! He’s teaching math two days a week at College of Lake County and spends another couple of days watching Giselle and Ezra, both great kids! He gets to read a lot of his favorite Dr. Seuss books and watch SpongeBob and Phineas and Ferb.
We’ve had a lot of changes, a lot of fun, a lot of little children, a lot of work, and, as always, we have found that God is Good, All the Time!
This is the year that Spotlight (formerly Christian Youth Theater) came into our lives. First, Bonnie was invited to teach voice for the Lake County group. Then last summer, Bonnie costumed the Spotlight Adult show: Thoroughly Modern Millie. The talent (of Bonnie and the actors and the other people responsible for the production, including Elle who was the vocal director) was truly awesome. Michael got to see the show Every Night and loved it more each time he saw it! Bonnie got to make lots of new friends and work with some very talented people. Subsequently, Bonnie taught a voice class at the North Cook Spotlight group and is assisting in a Lake County class for the fall/winter session. Spotlight is a great organization dedicated to highlighting Jesus Christ through the performing arts. To complete the Spotlight part of the letter, Elle (Erin Laurel) is now a full time Spotlight employee working in several areas of the company, but mainly in marketing. This spring Elle will be directing a show for the Kenosha group and she has already invited Bonnie to work on the costuming.
You may have gathered that Elle must have left the Fred Astaire system, and you are correct! This is a huge change for her to leave the world of Ballroom and be totally involved with a Christian organization!
Another big, big change: Bonnie and Michael have closed the door on the Ballroom Dance Gown business!! The business was bought by our friend Michael, owner and manager of the Burr Ridge Fred Astaire. Michael always made us feel welcome in his studio, even before it was his studio and he made the dresses an important part of introducing his students into the world of Ballroom Competition. Once the Lord led Bonnie away from ballroom, it was a marvelously short time from that realization to the dresses leaving our house for Burr Ridge.
So, you might think that Bonnie might take a little time off to recover from years of intense work: you would be wrong. In addition to large, labor intensive contracts with the Mundelein HS Show Choir, Bonnie has started a new Etsy business: Bonnie’s Belle Babies, making infant and child clothing and accessories!
Giles, our SIL, has done a lot of graphic work for us. He made the banner above, but Michael inexpertly inserted our granddaughter’s picture over Gile’s graphic. Briana and Giles are working hard to realize their dream of a successful startup company. Cool Perks (mycoolperks.com) is a kind of electronic couponing company that uses smartphones and computers to actually pay people who distribute coupons to their friends. This kind of startup takes a tremendous amount of work and delightful and intelligent people (Briana and Giles) to explain and sell the concept to businesses.
Did I mention how Delightful it is to have Giles, Briana, and Giselle living with us? Getting daily exposure to this family and watching Giselle grow up is awesome!
We don’t get to see them every day, but Joel, Jen, and Sloane are just 30 minutes away. Sloane is awesome and Jen keeps us up-to-date with her amazing pictures. Joel works his computer magic mainly from home, so they are the Nuclear Family. We’ve had some great times with them this year.
Bonnie went to Haiti for the third time this year, then had surgery to repair her left thumb. She liked it so much, she’s going to do both again this coming year, but this time the right thumb. Michael had an ankle fusion and (finally) returned to daily bike riding and he hasn’t been physically so well off for a number of years! He’s teaching math two days a week at College of Lake County and spends another couple of days watching Giselle and Ezra, both great kids! He gets to read a lot of his favorite Dr. Seuss books and watch SpongeBob and Phineas and Ferb.
We’ve had a lot of changes, a lot of fun, a lot of little children, a lot of work, and, as always, we have found that God is Good, All the Time!
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