A Warning
John’s message on I Peter 5 warned against pride. He also included a warning about listening to any message offered as an alternative to the message of Peter’s letter. I would like to extend that warning.
When I was a kid, I loved the book store. As I grew and became interested in God and accepted Christ, I was drawn to that area of the book store that sold “religious” books. Years ago there would be a section of books that were messages from the Evangelical subculture of which I was a part and in adjacent shelves were the “New Age” books that seemed to me to just be creepy. It was not difficult to know what books I wanted to stay away from.
Today, most of the book stores are gone and instead of browsing shelves we browse the Internet. But more distressing is a new kind of Christianity that is getting lots and lots of digital ink. If you grew up in the same Evangelical subculture as I did (at least from age 19 on), you know all about (and reject) the “health and wealth” gospel that misreads scripture to promise the good life to its followers.
Today’s temptations are more subtle. They often start like this: Christ is Love and we are called to love our enemies.
Wait a minute! That is exactly right!! But wait. Many of these new voices are talking about the “trajectory” of scripture and learning to extend Jesus’ teaching to our current culture. They are unhooking our moral code from scripture. Once there is a disconnect with scripture there is no end of directions you can go.
Discernment and a foundation of scripture have never been more important. The new messages sound great and usually contain true elements, but beware the talk of “extensions” and about the “trajectory of scripture”.
Another caution: It is not our place to Judge our brothers and sisters. It is our duty to God to work to understand His will for our life and to make the proper moral decisions based on scripture, the Holy Spirit, prayer, and the wise counsel of other believers.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Riches are Great, But There’s More!
Who doesn’t want a friend with riches? For one reason or another, people with riches like to give things away and who wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end? As a teacher in Chicago I benefited from the Gates Foundation’s gifts to the school at which I worked. Certainly some of the gifts of earthly benefactors are misguided, but it’s great to have that kind of connection.
In Ephesians 3 we learn about the unsearchable riches of Christ:
8 To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, 9 and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in[b] God who created all things, 10 so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.
“Unsearchable” is kind of a funny word. It’s the word used by the King James translators and it is repeated in a number of modern translations. I prefer (although I cannot read the original languages) the word “unfathomable” used in the New American Standard version. A fathom is a unit of measure often used for the depth of water and “unfathomable” literally means that you cannot find the bottom. This certainly captures the idea of this passage and in Ephesians, you find exactly what kind of bottomless riches Paul is talking about:
Ephesians 1:7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, …
Ephesians 2:7 …so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 3: 14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
For me it is easier to understand the riches of God’s grace than to understand his glory even though we share both. God’s grace redeems us and:
Hebrews 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Getting my mind around riches of his glory is a little more difficult, but seeing myself on the moving walkway (as illustrated in the message of Jan 5th), part of God’s larger plan to bring glory to his name partly by working through me, helps me understand a bit more about the unsearchable riches of God.
Understanding a little about grace and glory that he shares out of his abundance and love gives us insight into another part of the Jan 5th message: the power of God that he shares with us:
Ephesians 1 19 …and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.
God’s power is the source of energy that keeps the walkway moving and enables us to (however imperfectly) do his will. Along with unsearchable riches, he grants us immeasurable… power.
And if that were the end of the story, it would be an awesome and life changing story by itself, but there is more.
John 10 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
This is what makes the story irresistible. God’s love motivates his ultimate sacrifice for us. Love isn’t love if it costs nothing. Everyone knows that saying with words that you love someone doesn’t mean much (if anything) without actions to back it up.
If you want to understand the nature of God, start here: He gave his life for our redemption. He took our sins upon his sinless shoulders and suffered for us on the cross. His love demands our attention and gives us an example of how to get the attention of others.
It’s not enough for us to be “right”. It’s not enough to have “sound doctrine”. It’s not enough to share key verses or our even our life’s story.
What are you willing to give? What loving sacrifice will you make to bring God’s grace and glory into someone’s life?
Sacrifice sounds scary and depressing, but God’s unsearchable grace and glory and immeasurable power make this kind of sacrifice a holy joy. 1 John 4:19, We love because he first loved us. There is no formula. There is no one set answer to the questions above. How will you love those around you, especially those who are “unlovable”? Let the Spirit speak to you as you read and pray and listen for your answers.
In Ephesians 3 we learn about the unsearchable riches of Christ:
8 To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, 9 and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in[b] God who created all things, 10 so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.
“Unsearchable” is kind of a funny word. It’s the word used by the King James translators and it is repeated in a number of modern translations. I prefer (although I cannot read the original languages) the word “unfathomable” used in the New American Standard version. A fathom is a unit of measure often used for the depth of water and “unfathomable” literally means that you cannot find the bottom. This certainly captures the idea of this passage and in Ephesians, you find exactly what kind of bottomless riches Paul is talking about:
Ephesians 1:7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, …
Ephesians 2:7 …so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 3: 14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
For me it is easier to understand the riches of God’s grace than to understand his glory even though we share both. God’s grace redeems us and:
Hebrews 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Getting my mind around riches of his glory is a little more difficult, but seeing myself on the moving walkway (as illustrated in the message of Jan 5th), part of God’s larger plan to bring glory to his name partly by working through me, helps me understand a bit more about the unsearchable riches of God.
Understanding a little about grace and glory that he shares out of his abundance and love gives us insight into another part of the Jan 5th message: the power of God that he shares with us:
Ephesians 1 19 …and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.
God’s power is the source of energy that keeps the walkway moving and enables us to (however imperfectly) do his will. Along with unsearchable riches, he grants us immeasurable… power.
And if that were the end of the story, it would be an awesome and life changing story by itself, but there is more.
John 10 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
This is what makes the story irresistible. God’s love motivates his ultimate sacrifice for us. Love isn’t love if it costs nothing. Everyone knows that saying with words that you love someone doesn’t mean much (if anything) without actions to back it up.
If you want to understand the nature of God, start here: He gave his life for our redemption. He took our sins upon his sinless shoulders and suffered for us on the cross. His love demands our attention and gives us an example of how to get the attention of others.
It’s not enough for us to be “right”. It’s not enough to have “sound doctrine”. It’s not enough to share key verses or our even our life’s story.
What are you willing to give? What loving sacrifice will you make to bring God’s grace and glory into someone’s life?
Sacrifice sounds scary and depressing, but God’s unsearchable grace and glory and immeasurable power make this kind of sacrifice a holy joy. 1 John 4:19, We love because he first loved us. There is no formula. There is no one set answer to the questions above. How will you love those around you, especially those who are “unlovable”? Let the Spirit speak to you as you read and pray and listen for your answers.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Thoughts on Evangelism: How do you Deal with Father Issues?
Thoughts on Evangelism: How do you Deal with Father Issues?
Last Sunday we heard a marvelous testimony of how a family had been hurt by a father’s actions (and inactions) and broken by divorce. Family members for years were among the walking wounded. Then, in a moment of clarity, the Lord touched the wayward father, and years of pain were healed. It is a great illustration of God working through prayer to change lives.
But what happens when that moment of clarity does not come? When fathers and children do not find resolution or when death separates family members before such clarity can come. Or what happens to children who never meet their fathers?
Hebrews 12 talks about fathers:
5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
How does this read to a son or daughter whose father has been absent or abusive or self-absorbed? How do you witness about God the Father to someone who has never met his father?
Maybe a place to start is Matthew 27: 46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Jesus himself knows what it means to be a “man of sorrows and acquainted with grief”. Though he knew his death was necessary, he felt abandoned by God the Father. So Jesus deeply understands what it means to have a bad father or no father at all. As you witness to those with father issues, this may be a place to start. One huge difference is that God the Father was not “disciplining” Jesus his son: Jesus’ death is necessary to heal OUR relationship with God, not to heal Jesus’ relationship with his Father God.
To help a new believer understand this relationship between a father’s discipline and our adoption as sons and daughters I think there are two things you can do.
First, you can help the new believer (or someone asking questions) think about someone in their life who asserted authority in a caring way: a teacher or pastor or uncle or brother. If they can see that the person disciplined them for their own good, you have got a good example. Certainly you can emphasize that, as a human, that person in their life probably has made plenty of mistakes of their own. But we can learn even from mediocre examples. Try to draw parallels between that important person in their life and how God the Father has led and disciplined you in your life.
Second, and more important, you can become a leader in that person’s life as you disciple them in the faith. God grants us the authority to preach his word and do his will on earth. That authority is based on our relationship with Jesus Christ and is enabled by our knowledge of Jesus. That puts a responsibility on us to be in prayer and in God’s Word regularly so that we can align our will with our Father’s will. We will not be perfect. But we are responsible to do the Father’s work and that will include teaching and helping others understand their relationship with God. You may be called to be that caring, loving one who disciplines that we talked about in the last paragraph. Just because it is a heavy responsibility does not mean you are not called by God to assume it.
Pray about it. Maybe you have father issues. That might make you uniquely qualified to help a new believer with their own issues. Maybe God is calling you to have a discipling relationship that is modeled after the kind of loving Father described in Hebrews 12. If you are called to help or lead someone into a deeper walk with Jesus, remember to talk to those who are your spiritual leaders for help and advice and go to them for prayer. Taking on this kind of relationship may be scary, but it brings a deep joy to you and to your Father.
Last Sunday we heard a marvelous testimony of how a family had been hurt by a father’s actions (and inactions) and broken by divorce. Family members for years were among the walking wounded. Then, in a moment of clarity, the Lord touched the wayward father, and years of pain were healed. It is a great illustration of God working through prayer to change lives.
But what happens when that moment of clarity does not come? When fathers and children do not find resolution or when death separates family members before such clarity can come. Or what happens to children who never meet their fathers?
Hebrews 12 talks about fathers:
5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
How does this read to a son or daughter whose father has been absent or abusive or self-absorbed? How do you witness about God the Father to someone who has never met his father?
Maybe a place to start is Matthew 27: 46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Jesus himself knows what it means to be a “man of sorrows and acquainted with grief”. Though he knew his death was necessary, he felt abandoned by God the Father. So Jesus deeply understands what it means to have a bad father or no father at all. As you witness to those with father issues, this may be a place to start. One huge difference is that God the Father was not “disciplining” Jesus his son: Jesus’ death is necessary to heal OUR relationship with God, not to heal Jesus’ relationship with his Father God.
To help a new believer understand this relationship between a father’s discipline and our adoption as sons and daughters I think there are two things you can do.
First, you can help the new believer (or someone asking questions) think about someone in their life who asserted authority in a caring way: a teacher or pastor or uncle or brother. If they can see that the person disciplined them for their own good, you have got a good example. Certainly you can emphasize that, as a human, that person in their life probably has made plenty of mistakes of their own. But we can learn even from mediocre examples. Try to draw parallels between that important person in their life and how God the Father has led and disciplined you in your life.
Second, and more important, you can become a leader in that person’s life as you disciple them in the faith. God grants us the authority to preach his word and do his will on earth. That authority is based on our relationship with Jesus Christ and is enabled by our knowledge of Jesus. That puts a responsibility on us to be in prayer and in God’s Word regularly so that we can align our will with our Father’s will. We will not be perfect. But we are responsible to do the Father’s work and that will include teaching and helping others understand their relationship with God. You may be called to be that caring, loving one who disciplines that we talked about in the last paragraph. Just because it is a heavy responsibility does not mean you are not called by God to assume it.
Pray about it. Maybe you have father issues. That might make you uniquely qualified to help a new believer with their own issues. Maybe God is calling you to have a discipling relationship that is modeled after the kind of loving Father described in Hebrews 12. If you are called to help or lead someone into a deeper walk with Jesus, remember to talk to those who are your spiritual leaders for help and advice and go to them for prayer. Taking on this kind of relationship may be scary, but it brings a deep joy to you and to your Father.
I guess I really do have a chronic illness...
Google "psoriatic arthritis" and read all about it. The description of symptoms matches me perfectly! There are 5 varieties and I seem to have symptoms of about three kinds. Right now I am experiencing a pretty bad flare up in the lower back: dance lessons canceled, cane retrieved from it holder.
Thinking back, I've had symptoms for years and for years have denied that there was any problem. Do you really mean it's not normal to be in pain all the time?? I thought it was a natural consequence of the various sports abuses I've put myself through over the years.
The “Last Week’s Sermon” Game or Are You Ready to Talk About Jesus?
The “Last Week’s Sermon” Game or Are You Ready to Talk About Jesus?
I’d like to invite you to play a game I made up. We are all familiar with the scripture: "...preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching." But, are you really ready?
Here’s my game: Imagine that someone asks you to tell them about Jesus and what he means to you and why he is important, and your response has to come from Last Week’s Sermon.
To play the game, you pretend to have a conversation where someone asks you a leading question about your faith or about Jesus and you respond by using last week’s message along with your own personal references and knowledge to tell the person about Jesus Christ.
It’s a game, but the rules are loose. You are certainly allowed to use other scripture references and certainly you should use some of your own personal stories and knowledge, but the main part of your response should come from the content of the week’s message.
Here’s a sample. “It’s Christmas and everyone is talking about Christ and I know that you go to church. What do you say about the meaning of Christmas and Jesus and religion and all that stuff?”
Like Nehemiah (Neh 2:4), shoot a quick prayer of thanks toward heaven and say: “I’m glad you asked. Just last week at church we heard a story about Jesus that came from a book in the Old Testament by a prophet that lived 800 years before Jesus even came to earth! BTW, a prophet is a messenger that brings God’s message to people, and this prophet, Isaiah, predicted that Jesus would be born and he would bring light and be a light for his people who were in the middle of a terribly dark period of their history. Isaiah was writing to a people that were have super hard times and they were cursing the government and life in general. Isaiah told them that a light would come in the form of a child and that light would be the Wonderful Counselor, the Might God, The Everlasting Father, and the Prince of Peace.
“And if you think about each name, you’ll get why the coming of Jesus means so much to me and to everyone: Jesus is God come to earth. He lived with us and walked with us for a season and then returned to God the Father to plead our case before his throne. We can call God our Everlasting Father because of restored relationship.
“My own connection with my real father has been tenuous at best. I met him only a couple of times in my whole life, and although he said that he prayed for me, it’s been hard to relate to him as a father and now he’s passed away. So thinking of God as my Everlasting Father is really meaningful for me.”
You get the idea. Use Last Weeks Sermon as a reference and as a springboard to talk about your relationship with Jesus. Use the game to mentally practice what you might say so you’ll be ready when God sends you someone with a question.
I’d like to invite you to play a game I made up. We are all familiar with the scripture: "...preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching." But, are you really ready?
Here’s my game: Imagine that someone asks you to tell them about Jesus and what he means to you and why he is important, and your response has to come from Last Week’s Sermon.
To play the game, you pretend to have a conversation where someone asks you a leading question about your faith or about Jesus and you respond by using last week’s message along with your own personal references and knowledge to tell the person about Jesus Christ.
It’s a game, but the rules are loose. You are certainly allowed to use other scripture references and certainly you should use some of your own personal stories and knowledge, but the main part of your response should come from the content of the week’s message.
Here’s a sample. “It’s Christmas and everyone is talking about Christ and I know that you go to church. What do you say about the meaning of Christmas and Jesus and religion and all that stuff?”
Like Nehemiah (Neh 2:4), shoot a quick prayer of thanks toward heaven and say: “I’m glad you asked. Just last week at church we heard a story about Jesus that came from a book in the Old Testament by a prophet that lived 800 years before Jesus even came to earth! BTW, a prophet is a messenger that brings God’s message to people, and this prophet, Isaiah, predicted that Jesus would be born and he would bring light and be a light for his people who were in the middle of a terribly dark period of their history. Isaiah was writing to a people that were have super hard times and they were cursing the government and life in general. Isaiah told them that a light would come in the form of a child and that light would be the Wonderful Counselor, the Might God, The Everlasting Father, and the Prince of Peace.
“And if you think about each name, you’ll get why the coming of Jesus means so much to me and to everyone: Jesus is God come to earth. He lived with us and walked with us for a season and then returned to God the Father to plead our case before his throne. We can call God our Everlasting Father because of restored relationship.
“My own connection with my real father has been tenuous at best. I met him only a couple of times in my whole life, and although he said that he prayed for me, it’s been hard to relate to him as a father and now he’s passed away. So thinking of God as my Everlasting Father is really meaningful for me.”
You get the idea. Use Last Weeks Sermon as a reference and as a springboard to talk about your relationship with Jesus. Use the game to mentally practice what you might say so you’ll be ready when God sends you someone with a question.
Best Year Ever (Year End Letter)
Best Year Ever! (Again!) I thought last year was the best ever, but this year was better.
This is the year that Spotlight (formerly Christian Youth Theater) came into our lives. First, Bonnie was invited to teach voice for the Lake County group. Then last summer, Bonnie costumed the Spotlight Adult show: Thoroughly Modern Millie. The talent (of Bonnie and the actors and the other people responsible for the production, including Elle who was the vocal director) was truly awesome. Michael got to see the show Every Night and loved it more each time he saw it! Bonnie got to make lots of new friends and work with some very talented people. Subsequently, Bonnie taught a voice class at the North Cook Spotlight group and is assisting in a Lake County class for the fall/winter session. Spotlight is a great organization dedicated to highlighting Jesus Christ through the performing arts. To complete the Spotlight part of the letter, Elle (Erin Laurel) is now a full time Spotlight employee working in several areas of the company, but mainly in marketing. This spring Elle will be directing a show for the Kenosha group and she has already invited Bonnie to work on the costuming.
You may have gathered that Elle must have left the Fred Astaire system, and you are correct! This is a huge change for her to leave the world of Ballroom and be totally involved with a Christian organization!
Another big, big change: Bonnie and Michael have closed the door on the Ballroom Dance Gown business!! The business was bought by our friend Michael, owner and manager of the Burr Ridge Fred Astaire. Michael always made us feel welcome in his studio, even before it was his studio and he made the dresses an important part of introducing his students into the world of Ballroom Competition. Once the Lord led Bonnie away from ballroom, it was a marvelously short time from that realization to the dresses leaving our house for Burr Ridge.
So, you might think that Bonnie might take a little time off to recover from years of intense work: you would be wrong. In addition to large, labor intensive contracts with the Mundelein HS Show Choir, Bonnie has started a new Etsy business: Bonnie’s Belle Babies, making infant and child clothing and accessories!
Giles, our SIL, has done a lot of graphic work for us. He made the banner above, but Michael inexpertly inserted our granddaughter’s picture over Gile’s graphic. Briana and Giles are working hard to realize their dream of a successful startup company. Cool Perks (mycoolperks.com) is a kind of electronic couponing company that uses smartphones and computers to actually pay people who distribute coupons to their friends. This kind of startup takes a tremendous amount of work and delightful and intelligent people (Briana and Giles) to explain and sell the concept to businesses.
Did I mention how Delightful it is to have Giles, Briana, and Giselle living with us? Getting daily exposure to this family and watching Giselle grow up is awesome!
We don’t get to see them every day, but Joel, Jen, and Sloane are just 30 minutes away. Sloane is awesome and Jen keeps us up-to-date with her amazing pictures. Joel works his computer magic mainly from home, so they are the Nuclear Family. We’ve had some great times with them this year.
Bonnie went to Haiti for the third time this year, then had surgery to repair her left thumb. She liked it so much, she’s going to do both again this coming year, but this time the right thumb. Michael had an ankle fusion and (finally) returned to daily bike riding and he hasn’t been physically so well off for a number of years! He’s teaching math two days a week at College of Lake County and spends another couple of days watching Giselle and Ezra, both great kids! He gets to read a lot of his favorite Dr. Seuss books and watch SpongeBob and Phineas and Ferb.
We’ve had a lot of changes, a lot of fun, a lot of little children, a lot of work, and, as always, we have found that God is Good, All the Time!
This is the year that Spotlight (formerly Christian Youth Theater) came into our lives. First, Bonnie was invited to teach voice for the Lake County group. Then last summer, Bonnie costumed the Spotlight Adult show: Thoroughly Modern Millie. The talent (of Bonnie and the actors and the other people responsible for the production, including Elle who was the vocal director) was truly awesome. Michael got to see the show Every Night and loved it more each time he saw it! Bonnie got to make lots of new friends and work with some very talented people. Subsequently, Bonnie taught a voice class at the North Cook Spotlight group and is assisting in a Lake County class for the fall/winter session. Spotlight is a great organization dedicated to highlighting Jesus Christ through the performing arts. To complete the Spotlight part of the letter, Elle (Erin Laurel) is now a full time Spotlight employee working in several areas of the company, but mainly in marketing. This spring Elle will be directing a show for the Kenosha group and she has already invited Bonnie to work on the costuming.
You may have gathered that Elle must have left the Fred Astaire system, and you are correct! This is a huge change for her to leave the world of Ballroom and be totally involved with a Christian organization!
Another big, big change: Bonnie and Michael have closed the door on the Ballroom Dance Gown business!! The business was bought by our friend Michael, owner and manager of the Burr Ridge Fred Astaire. Michael always made us feel welcome in his studio, even before it was his studio and he made the dresses an important part of introducing his students into the world of Ballroom Competition. Once the Lord led Bonnie away from ballroom, it was a marvelously short time from that realization to the dresses leaving our house for Burr Ridge.
So, you might think that Bonnie might take a little time off to recover from years of intense work: you would be wrong. In addition to large, labor intensive contracts with the Mundelein HS Show Choir, Bonnie has started a new Etsy business: Bonnie’s Belle Babies, making infant and child clothing and accessories!
Giles, our SIL, has done a lot of graphic work for us. He made the banner above, but Michael inexpertly inserted our granddaughter’s picture over Gile’s graphic. Briana and Giles are working hard to realize their dream of a successful startup company. Cool Perks (mycoolperks.com) is a kind of electronic couponing company that uses smartphones and computers to actually pay people who distribute coupons to their friends. This kind of startup takes a tremendous amount of work and delightful and intelligent people (Briana and Giles) to explain and sell the concept to businesses.
Did I mention how Delightful it is to have Giles, Briana, and Giselle living with us? Getting daily exposure to this family and watching Giselle grow up is awesome!
We don’t get to see them every day, but Joel, Jen, and Sloane are just 30 minutes away. Sloane is awesome and Jen keeps us up-to-date with her amazing pictures. Joel works his computer magic mainly from home, so they are the Nuclear Family. We’ve had some great times with them this year.
Bonnie went to Haiti for the third time this year, then had surgery to repair her left thumb. She liked it so much, she’s going to do both again this coming year, but this time the right thumb. Michael had an ankle fusion and (finally) returned to daily bike riding and he hasn’t been physically so well off for a number of years! He’s teaching math two days a week at College of Lake County and spends another couple of days watching Giselle and Ezra, both great kids! He gets to read a lot of his favorite Dr. Seuss books and watch SpongeBob and Phineas and Ferb.
We’ve had a lot of changes, a lot of fun, a lot of little children, a lot of work, and, as always, we have found that God is Good, All the Time!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Marriage
But I do have a couple of comments. Often wives store up their complaints over time. Sometimes it's over things that aren't quite worth mentioning at the time, or circumstances prevent bringing it up. But during hormonal times or other stress, often the filters come off and the whole pile of problems come tumbling out. When that happens it may trigger your own set of stored complaints, partly in defense, partly because you think "well, if she's going to bring that up, this is my chance to bring up the other thing that bothers me". Bringing up your complaints At This Time is hardly ever a good idea. The best thing to do is listen carefully and patiently. It may well be that you will hear something that you had no idea was a problem, or knew about but didn't think it was a problem. It may be a problem to her and you may get an insight on how to serve your wife and family in the future. Patience doesn't mean condescension! What your wife says is important for you to hear with a humble heart. You may not agree with everything she is saying, but this is also not the time to engage in lengthy arguments. It is time to listen.
That doesn't mean it is never time to respond and share your own feelings, but it is better to leave it for when you are both at your best - and then only one issue at a time. More later, but you need to know we care about both of you and want the best for your marriage! Last night you told me that you know of women who have husbands "worse" than, but are filled with joy and and are Godly women. I don't doubt that and celebrate that God can bring men and women to a place within difficult relationships that they can praise God and have an effective ministry. But this does not let the husbands off the hook. You are more than just familiar with Ephesians 5 and other scriptures talking about the relationship between husbands and wives, but this morning it hit me that, like teachers, husbands are held more accountable. The fact that a wife may be growing and rejoicing in God is a testimony to that woman's walk with God, but doesn't let the men "off" of their responsibility to love their wives like Christ loves the church. More than once, I have gotten the feeling that you want to let certain men off the hook.
Another thing that has bothered me is your claim that because there was a "presenting sin" like pornography in cases like mine that our cases are different than others. I am certainly not denying my sin, but I was a lousy husband and father long before I got involved in pornography. I was lucky to have a defining event that let me reset my life in better channels.
That doesn't mean it is never time to respond and share your own feelings, but it is better to leave it for when you are both at your best - and then only one issue at a time. More later, but you need to know we care about both of you and want the best for your marriage! Last night you told me that you know of women who have husbands "worse" than
Another thing that has bothered me is your claim that because there was a "presenting sin" like pornography in cases like mine that our cases are different than others. I am certainly not denying my sin, but I was a lousy husband and father long before I got involved in pornography. I was lucky to have a defining event that let me reset my life in better channels.
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